its holiday. my insomnia is getting better, maybe because there is nothing else bothering me except for result. so as usual, i wake up late. online my facebook and twitter. and the only thing that i want to know is about 'that thing'. i waited for the news since yesterday. i know something isnt right. although everything look normal. and yes it is true. something happened. when i read that news my feelings mixed up. half of my heart refused to believe it. hoping for miracle or maybe there are misunderstanding or error. but the other half of my heart said, we are going to loss him. i never face this kind of situation. im not sure how to handle it. im not crying. but i can taste deep pain in my chest. burning and raining. i remember him, his joke, his humour, his smile, his laugh. he always makes us laugh. i remember how he worried about me when im in trouble, how he cares about me. he care about us more than he cares about himself. everyone loves him. as he loves everyone. i miss him. how i wish we can gather together now. eat, laugh, do something stupid, going crazy, naughty, gossiping and make fun of each other as usual. i can do that with the rest, but the happiness will be different with his absenty. i hope he'll stay with us, come back to Sabah with the rest. how i wish i can appreciate more time with him and the rest. if only i know, i'll never wasted my time ignoring him. but all of us have to accept this. ALLAH loves us better than how a Homo sapien loves each other. we might not feel how he feels but at least, make him smile just like he did to us. pray harder. ALLAH knows the best. i believe he's strong to handle this. and i know we have strong bond to give him support and reduce the sadness. as for now, lets not think about something which doesnt even happen yet. and still, i hope the news was wrong and hope everything will going back to normal. and if it is confirmed, i'll redha and leave the rest to ALLAH.
